The first step to helping your child with negative thinking is to make sure you are aware of how you express yourself and your thoughts. If a parent is constantly negative, then it will be harder for their child to have an optimistic view on life.
Most of the time, children who think negatively, have parents who think negatively.
Kids who default into negative thinking have built the habit of negative thoughts becoming their default, which is the first and final word. Kids don't always realize they have a choice on whether they listen and believe these negative thoughts or not. They start to believe that these false thoughts are actually "their truth."
Fortunately, parents and educators can help! You have the power to help them overcome their negative thinking patterns.
Help your child Challenge their negative thoughts. Questioning negative thoughts can be very powerful and only requires three little words. "Is that true?" The idea is whenever we feel a negative feeling, we need to question what we are thinking about instead of just accepting it.
Make it known that Failure is Part of Life. It's important to acknowledge to your "tribe", that failure is part of learning and a necessary part of life. In other words, share your mistakes with your child. We are not perfect, and make sure they know that. When we make mistakes---don't handle a situation right, we mess up at work--make it known and discuss openly what steps you took to make it better. Don't try to hide your mistakes. The message should always be, "messing up happens to all of us and we wouldn't be learning if it didn't happen to all of us," because that is the truth and without them knowing that, they might be unnecessarily hard on themselves and think negatively about who they are and their abilities.
Help your child change their self talk from negative to positive. You can help them change their focus from negativity to their potential. Modeling a growth mindset in front of your child is one of the most powerful ways to help combat that way of thinking. If you find your child putting themselves down using negative self talk, use these strategies to help them. Talk to them about a growth mindset. Explain to them that it means working towards your goal relentlessly, not giving up and being resilient. Let them see you make mistakes in reaching your goal while never giving up.
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